Last week I stopped smoking. I know what you’re thinking. Yes, I’ve done it before. Many times. I’ve always ended up back on the wagon.

But may I say this time it’s different? At the risk of looking foolish if I fail, that’s exactly what  I’m going to claim. Because I cannot live my life by hedging my bets, and not doing things because I’m afraid if I fail I might look stupid. What kind of life is that?

So, let’s just go ahead and think something a little bit crazy: I will succeed. The task I’ve set myself is actually fairly huge if I’m honest. I have made a promise to myself, and now to you, to never ever do something again. Have you ever decided to never do something in your life again. Forever?

Forever is a long time.

Luckily, time is something I’ve got a lot of.

Things I’ve realised so far:

  1. My relationship with cigarettes was unhealthy. I know that doesn’t sound revolutionary. But let me explain. When I smoked my last cigarette, I had a talk with it. Like a break-up, if you will. Because cigarettes and I have been in an abusive relationship for over ten years. That’s a long time.
  2. Cigarettes were harming me, emotionally, mentally, and physically. They told me I needed them, that life without them would be empty. They controlled the way I spent my time, the way I spent my money. They prevented me from seeing a lot of the joy in life, because the first thing I did in the morning was think about them. My life had become, whether I saw it or not, a series of events punctuated by the thing I really wanted — a little hit of nicotine.
  3. Well fuck that. The only way out of an abusive relationship is through it. So I said goodbye to cigarettes, and I told them that this time, I’d seen through them. And I meant it.