My proposed new voiceover for this video:

As one of France’s largest supermarket chains, averaging around 40 billion euros a year in profits, we’re really struggling to find new and innovative ways to increase our market share in a saturated market place with many established players offering the same tired products.

Luckily for us, after years of our adopted aesthetic values driving down the value of ‘ugly’ produce to zero, we realised we had inadvertently created a money-making opportunity for ourselves!

It was unintentional initially, but there’s no law against us benefitting financially from a problem we helped create through decades-old business practises, right?

So we convinced the growers to sell us this ‘unsellable’ (ha!) produce at a bargain basement price (I mean, they were throwing it away before, so anything they get for it is better than nothing) and then we sold it to consumers (at a tidy profit) by telling them it was less wasteful, even though WE were the ones who created that waste in the first place!

But here’s the kicker! Then we made a self-congratulatory web video about our cool new revenue stream but made it SEEM like it was about waste. And the best part? Because people love feeling like they are doing something positive, they all shared our video on social media and our video went viral.

And because journalists are fucking lazy and pretty much just repeat whatever we tell them to, it got in all the traditional and print media too! Which is exactly what we were hoping would happen. Taking advantage of people’s natural goodwill and laziness is so easy! VOILA, the perfect PR rort.

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